How? Why?

I've always been and upward-and-onward type of person. I had my college applications filled out by the beginning of my junior year of high school. Always ready for the next big thing, the next phase of life, the next vacation, the next weekend.

I graduated from Syracuse University in the spring of 1995. After working a few jobs and living at home that summer, I hopped in my Ford Escort and headed south to Atlanta. Leaving behind the frigid winters of my upbringing, the people who had known me since I was six years old, and my family that knew I was ready to fly on my own--I ventured out to design a new life for myself. I was in charge of myself, responsible for myself, and accountable to myself. I didn't know anyone in Atlanta and I didn't have a job, but I was anxious to start building my resume. The idea was to start climbing that corporate ladder so I could earn the big bucks and travel. At the time my brother was following Phish around the country with a couple of friends and surviving on canned hash and Mountain Dew. I wanted to travel, but I didn't want to do it that way. And, never having been west of Ohio, I thought I'd like to explore my own great country before travelling abroad.

That was my plan.

Fast forward 6 months. I've got a full-time job, I've fallen into a social routine with a great group of friends, and I met Harry. Fast forward 6 months. Harry and I are professing our love for one another and spending every weekend at the lake. Fast forward 6 months. Harry and I move in together. See where this is going? My plans now involved the input of this guy that I was (and still am) crazy about. Here's the kicker: Harry is 13 years older than me. Way ahead of travel on my list of things to do was to have a family. Not wanting the bus driver to mistake my children's father for their grandfather (that happened to my dad, but he was just prematurely gray), we figured we'd better focus on the family goal first. We did do some travel around the US and the islands, but fast forward to 2001 and Ava was born. Eighteen months later Harrison was born. Almost eighteen months after that Piper Rose was born. I was lucky to travel to the grocery store and the pediatrician's office in one day, let alone jet setting to Europe.

Please understand, I have no regrets. That's another part of my personality--believing that everything happens as it should and at just the right time. I wouldn't trade a single part of my life to this point for a scrapbook full of mementos from South America. But, also please understand, I have worked my butt off the past eight years caring for these three precious gifts (4 if you count Harry, which we all know I should). Now it is my time. This is my time. I proudly and tearfully put Piper on the bus with her big brother and sister and watched them drive away, realizing that one phase of my life was over. I made it! The kids made it! My marriage made it! The dog--well, she got shipped to Grandma's. But our family is solid and I am extremely proud.

So damn it, I'm taking myself to Italy!!