The final countdown

I've got 24 hours before I leave for the airport. Unless you're a Mom, you don't truly understand all that is involved in preparing for a trip like this. Besides reading, researching, and doing the other necessary legwork for traveling abroad, I have four other people who are quite accustomed to me being here and ensuring their lives run relatively smoothly, and I want to make my absence as easy on them as possible. I spent the weekend making lasagna, enchiladas, and chocolate chip cookies so the kids don't eat hot dogs every day and so Harry doesn't have peanuts for dinner every night. (I'm willing to bet he'll still do it at least twice while I'm gone. I do the same thing--but popcorn is my dinner of choice.) I have all the teacher notes written, dated, and posted on the cork board so they can go to school with the kids on the appropriate day. I've arranged play dates and pick-ups from carpool. I've stocked the pantry with snacks. I've created a detailed schedule for each family member that indicates who is buying lunch in the cafeteria, who has dance class, who is staying after school, and how and when it's all going to happen. On top of this, my oldest is spending the weekend at a soccer tournament with friends. This means packing for her and worrying about her first trip away from home. I'm about to do laundry so no one runs out of underwear. I've got to run to the liquor store so my husband can indulge in a nightly glass of red wine, just as I would need to do after a day with the kids. The house is clean, the gas tank in the minivan is full (I even checked the oil and the tires). I'm preparing a pork roast for our last family dinner for a week. I've even made little boxes with a message to each kid (and my husband as well) for each day that I'm gone. Gosh, I'm gonna miss them.

People keep asking me if I'm excited, and of course I am. But I think I was more excited a few weeks ago when my my energy and thoughts were all on the details of my days in Italy. For the past week my head has been 10% in Italy and 90% right here at home. 24 hours from now, when I've departed my little suburban oasis, all clean and tidy, I'll begin that journey of releasing that part of me, that 24-hour Mom, and begin getting acquainted again with Cristin. Just Cristin. I feel like I know her pretty well, but I know I'm going to learn so much about her on this trip. Maybe not so much things I just didn't know before, but discovering new facets that can only develop when pushed out of the comfort zone and exploring new and stimulating places. I'll still be 100% Mom for the next 7 days...but when I return I'll be even a little bit more.